I have a childish habit

I've been writing forever. Or at least what my nineteen years feels like forever is (which, to some people like my mother, isn't so long to them). But, for as long as I've had the ability to put pencil to paper and form words, I've written. And so of course, as a kid, I didn't know proper terms like manuscript. I just wrote stories, that's what I called them, that's what everyone else called them.

Now, ten years later, and I still fight back to write or say "story" when I refer to my own work. But I'd rather say "my story" instead of "my book" or "my manuscript." I don't know what it is. I want to be grown-up and professional, out of my self-illustrated cover and table of contents smudged in pencil and into real shiny covers and formatting. But I can't let go of my stories. Maybe it's habit, and maybe it's something else. Maybe it's holding on to the excitement and thrill I got as a kid writing down the people and places in my head. It may also be that I've always focused on the actual story and not the writing (which, of course I learned a few years ago is actually important).

Now that this is out in the open I just might keep on referring to FORGET ME NOT as my story. Because despite everything I know now, it's really that child-like excitement that keeps me writing.

(And for kicks, here's a picture from my childhood)

Me and my brothers. First day of 3rd grade for me.