Girl says "go." Boy says "no."

I want to start off this post by saying everyone's life choices are theirs and I recognize that and don't expect people to live my standards because they're mine and not everyone's.

Ok. Everyone agree on that? Yes?
Good.

I finished reading a book last night. Toward the end of the book, our heroine and hero have no choice but to share a hotel room. The boy decides to sleep on the floor. Our heroine says, "Oh hey. You should come sleep in the bed. Without your clothes on." *eyebrow wiggle* Boy denies. Girl protests. Their arguments goes round in circles, but in the end, our young brave hero does not give in (even though he's probably already slept with a girl) because this girl is different and he loves her, so he won't sleep with her. Our heroine gets all huffy and angsty and wonders if he won't sleep with her because she has small breasts.

I'm wondering if you can place this book with just this information or if you've seen this often enough in YA books that a few are running through your mind. Granted, it isn't as common as a love triangle, but I can think of quite a few YA books that have this kind of scenario. Did it phase me the first time? No, not really. But for some reason, this past book it did. Because I've read this so many times now, I'm starting to worry about this scene getting repeated so often.

Now, here's the thing. I don't think that reading a situation once will normalize it for a reader. So if one book has a character making a decision that I wouldn't want my younger cousin to make, usually I won't get up-in-arms about it. But the situation above alarms me because I worry it's becoming normalized.

I mean, hey, in this situation, they don't sleep with each other. So why get so alarmed about it? Well, who is this kind of book targeted to? Teenage girls. The heroine of the story wants to get down, and a lot of the time, with a boy who's been "bad" before. I get the authors, in this scenario, are probably trying to show how our bad boy has changed, or how the hero's love for the girl is pure. But for me, it also kind of hints that the man is in control of when the couple takes that step. I can think of one book right now (and maybe my memory's fuzzy and I'm only remembering one right now) in which the girl says "No, it's not the time" to her love interest--the one who she really does love, not the bad boyfriend kind of character. Other than that, it's always been the boy who stops it. Which makes me wonder, will teenage girls think that they can trust their partner? That once they get those urges, it's okay to bring it up and try to get him to sleep with her, expecting the boy to know if they're ready or it's okay for them to go ahead? If so, this is a VERY bad idea. Because the boy they have may not be as idealized as the one in the book. He's just as stupid with hormones as the girl is. And this could be very bad.

Like I said in the opening: people have different standards. That's everyone's choice and I don't mean to waggle my finger at anyone who's making different choices than me. BUT. Every person should make a responsible choice. And in these YA book moments, they're never ready, they've never thought about the consequences, they aren't responsible at all. And ultimately that's what worries me. That authors are so caught up in making it dramatic that it's setting a bad example for the teens who read it.

Tell me if you agree or if I'm being an over-dramatic prude.  

Why I'm no longer ashamed to admit I write love

I like to write love. Sometimes my stories have a heavy romance in them, sometimes it's lighter. But I find in whatever I write, I want some kind of romance, whether the characters are younger and it's hinted that they'll date in the future, or if I'm writing in a fantasy world where seventeen-year-olds get married.

One of my WIPs, FORGET ME NOT, has a very strong base in love, probably the strongest I've ever written. So when people would ask me what it's about, I'd say, "Oh, it's a fantasy." And for some reason, you know who would ask me if there was romance in it? Guys. Maybe to see if they'd be interested in it, or to judge me or something, I don't know. But I'd suddenly get very self-conscious. I'd say, "There's some" and try to change the subject.

Then, last weekend I went to the wedding of two of my friends. She glowed at him and everyone there. He smiled with pride at his bride. They were both so happy. I've been there from the beginning with these two, from their first dates to their first kiss to engagement and wedding plans. They're absolutely the best for each other.

Her siblings sang a rendition of "All About Us" by He is We and they danced together. And it was then, looking at the two of them so blissful with each other, that I didn't feel ashamed that I have love in my stories. Yes, it's fun to write it, and yes, everyone craves to have that kind of relationship. But what I realized why writing love is important is because there's a lot of people out there who don't know what the right kind of love is. Especially writing for teens in YA, many have a wonky idea of love or don't know how it should be yet. There are books who don't portray love in a healthy way. What I want to write is healthy love, or show how some love isn't good rather than glorify that kind of obsessive love. And it can be about the smallest crush or the greatest love. Either way, it's important. It can help lead to the beautiful, healthy kind of love my friends have, rather than the ones you try to steer your friends away from.

And for a little something, here's the song my friends danced to:

Is it getting hot in here? (bloghop)

When it comes to kissing scenes...well...I don't think I'm exactly where I'd like to be yet, so for this bloghop I'm going to share my Ultimate Favorite Kissing Scene Ever. For those of you who haven't read Catching Fire and wish to remain unspoiled, look away now.

My Ultimate Favorite Kissing Scene Ever is from Chapter 24 of Catching Fire. In case you need a little refreshing: Katniss and Peeta have been thrust into the Hunger Games again. There's no way (or so they think) that both Katniss and Peeta can make it out alive for a second time. Katniss wants Peeta to live, and he wants her to live. They have a conversation where they discuss this dilemma. I'll let Katniss take it from here. :)

"No one really needs me," he says, and there's no self-pity in his voice. It's true his family doesn't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

"I do," I say. "I need you." He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss.

I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.

This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind. 

This is why I think this kiss is The Ultimate Favorite Kissing Scene Ever:

1. This kiss has been having some serious build up. If you read even two pages before this, there is a lot of emotional stuff going on. Namely that they're both convinced only one of them can make it out alive, so they'll never be together again. At least one of them will die.
2. It clearly focuses on their emotions. Katniss doesn't say anything about parting lips or heaving breathing or hands tangling in hair. The physical description is very minimal, but we get a lot about the desire and feelings she has during this kiss.
3. Like Katniss says, there's a lot of kissing between the two of them, but this is the one that means something. For the reader, this is the "YES! YES! YES! SHE GETS IT!" kiss.

I hope you enjoyed this kissing scene, brought to you by Suzanne Collins. And if you so desire, I've rounded up a few of my favorite kissing scenes from movies/TV shows below.

Pretty much all of Snow/Charming kisses are the best, but here's just two, because that's how much I love this couple.

Happy Valentine's Day!

What's there to love?

The other day I was having a conversation with my friend about Tangled. Now please don't take this the wrong way, because I love Tangled. But I said the reason why I enjoyed other Disney movies more was because I couldn't comprehend why Flynn and Rapunzel fell for each other. I mean, Flynn seems pretty unimpressed with Rapunzel and even she's not swept off her feet right away by him. I know they have that conversation after the big chase with the near-drowning, but it still didn't stick with me why they would fall in love because of that. I found no basis to their love. Of course, maybe now I'm just an older English major with way too much time to analyze movies meant for children fifteen years younger than me.

But this leads me to ask, what's there to love?

I think, when it comes to attraction of couples and making them realistically fall in love, these basic points are crucial:

• Humor. I haven't met one person who hasn't said they want to marry someone who can make them laugh, or that their significant other makes them laugh. Even in an angsty romance, there has to be some light times when they can just laugh, otherwise they'll end up miserable together in the end.
• Similarity. As much as they say "opposites attract" you don't get a devout Fundamentalist Christian and a hard-core Wiccan dating. There has to be some sort of common ground or trait in order for the couple to really have a basis for their relationship. It doesn't have to be huge, just something.
• Opposites. Because contrary to the point above, opposites do attract. I just have to look at my parents for that kind of confirmation. I think that the opposite part is more that they complete one another, as cheesy as that sounds. But if one lacks a trait, with the other person filling it, they make more compatible together in the long run.
• Standing out. They need to do something that makes the other notice them. My roommate's boyfriend actually shared with her a list of things that made her stand out from other girls, and they were little things, but they were enough for him.

What do you think? What points are important to developing a great literary couple?

YA romance and the question of "what is too much?"

Let's face it, YA is riddled with romance and triangles right now. Seriously, pull out a book in the YA section now and what's the chance that there isn't a romance in it? Maybe 5%? And half of the books seem to have triangles in them. Certainly all of the successful ones (Twilight, The Hunger Games, Mortal Instruments, and Matched just to name a few) have some form of a love triangle.

My WIP right now does have a romantic storyline to it. Half of the plot is a romance. But, I'm not going with a love triangle. In fact, when I called Jasmine to tell her about the idea, I said, "Well...I have this idea...but it is heavily romantic." She stopped me and asked, "Is there a love triangle?" When I told her there wasn't one in the traditional sense and further explained the plot, she breathed a sigh of relief. She told me that triangles are far too overdone now. So I'm wondering...will people get sick of love triangles? Part of the way I molded my story is in the fact that I was sick of seeing them, even though there are books which just sucked me in that had triangles. Jasmine was sick of seeing it, and I often come across comments on an upcoming YA book, "Oh no, not another triangle!"

But love triangles have been around forever. Twilight certainly wasn't the first book to come up with it, and I doubt that we'll see the end anytime soon. And so what I now judge the plotline of love triangles is whether it actually adds anything to the story, or is just another shiny thing to distract the reader with, as well as how well it's constructed and if it's believable.

Another question I have been posing due to my WIP is when are there too many guys into a girl. I promise that there is no triangle action in this WIP, I did not lie to you or to Jasmine. Because in order for there to be a triangle, the girl (or guy, but it's usually a girl) has to in some way feel for both of the guys. No, my heroine is clearly only into her love interest. But, guys will like girls who don't reciprocate their feelings.

And so my question is: how many guys can fall for a girl without her becoming a Mary Sue or the entire idea just being unbelievable? I'm going to take a look at Twilight right now. In the first book, Bella has Erik, Mike, and Tyler all ask her to prom. Then of course she falls for Edward, and even in the first book Jacob showed a clear interest in her. In the later books Erik and Tyler's hormones don't pull toward Bella, but Edward, Jacob, and Mike are all still interested in her. Too much? A lot of people think so. It didn't phase me as a fourteen year old reading a book targeted toward older YA for the first time, but now I definitely see the problem. And then again, you have heroines like Scarlett O'Hara who gets married three times and has several other men competing for her. And look at Gone with the Wind. It's a celebrated classic. And, one of my roommates has some issues with too many guys being into her. She isn't a Scarlett O'Hara, she doesn't expect guys to fall at her feet, they just do because she's such a fun person. It's not like there aren't girls out there who do just have a lot of guys interested in them.

I wish I had an answer to all of this. It would make it easier as I try to shape the plot of my WIP. But, in the end, I suppose everything is relative as to how the story is created.